Day Tres

Context of the previous “Connotate this, bitch!”: Joe and I visited a pleasant little Denny’s in Junction City, Kansas and we both ordered orange juice and it’s that crappy oj from concentrate. I just noticed that his oj had much more froth than mine and felt that he needed to know that. Of course, he also got a new glass of oj too when the waitress switched to a new container of concentrate. High maintenance…

Ahhhhh Colorado, the Colorful State. It is absolutely gorgeous. The rolling hills, the majestic snow-capped mountains, the majestic not-snow-capped mountains, the mesas, the valleys, the small towns nestled in those valleys, and the cities. You know they say everyone in Colorado is fit and fot (fuckin hot) and they ain’t just whistlin’ Dixie. Everyone of every age, creed, sex and ethnicity looks like they have a billy blanks dvd on repeat in their dvd players. And they’re so nice too. I mean as long as you avoid the people in certain motels we looked into, you will spend a day in Denver participating in good conversation and witnessing random acts of kindness. I will go so far as to say Colorado has the nicest people in the country and possibly in the universe! And they’re all about good times here too. There’s a restaurant chain here called “Good Times” that as far as I can tell sells custard. Then we saw another restaurant in the mountains with the very same moniker that was a brewery and grill. What’s not to love about a place that worships good times like a secretary worships her copier? Driving through the Colorado frontier, we even came up with another name for our blog that we kind of like better but it’s too late and that is, “Silhouette Mountains in the Sky.” Now on to the day’s doings:

We pulled a stay at the Drury Inn last night in east Denver and it was friggin amazing! If you are ever in that area and need a place to stay, do yourself a favor and check into the Drury Inn. Get this: You get a free “hot” breakfast (none of that slice of bread and an apple shit), a pool and a spa, free wireless internet, free long distance for an hour and free local calls, heavenly beds, free pizza at night AND (the main selling point for our stay) 3 free cocktails with the free pizza! A Great deal and the service was great! But if great service is not your bag, you would probably enjoy the prairie dog colony that is right outside providing wonderful entertainment for adults and kids alike. I would guess that by the size of the field they performed on and the amount of them that were there, they were reenacting the battle of Gettysburg.

We discovered that in Colorado the best way to guesstimate the speed limit is to guess what you think it is and then add 5 to that. For instance, if you were on a highway and you guessed the speed limit was 70 (because that’s how much it would be in stupid Kansas) then you would just add 5 and get the speed limit on Colorado highways: 75.

Speaking of Kansas, when we saw some unneeded roadwork and lane closures on colorado’s highways, we said “Come on Colorado, Don’t pull a Kansas!”

When in a tunnel in Colorado, one will not hear an echo…

Exit 119 off I-70 in Colorado: “No Name”

Got a 4 hour oil change today in Denver. Apparently they didn’t have the oil filter since my car is a new model so that they had to scour Denver for someone who did. Meanwhile, Joe and I made like Jay and Silent Bob and hung out outside the Big O Tires walking over to 7 Eleven every now and then.

We’re not sure which is worse and perhaps you all can help us out. Kansas has road work and lane closures everywhere to fix there roads which are fine as is and not traveled often (I would think since Kansas sucks) but Utah’s roads are quite shitty and all they do is put up signs that say “Road Damage.” It’s like thanks but I just blew a tire when I ran over a pothole the size of Australia.

Conversation Excerpt:
Joe: Does it freak you out if, hypothetically sitting on a sofa with a big sliding glass door that you can’t see out of right in front of you, you see a show come on your tv that talks about serial killers who break into houses?

Me: Yes in that situation it does.

Joe: I wouldn’t even go near the sliding glass doors I would just turn the tv off and walk away without looking at the sliding glass doors.

Me: I would too.

Joe: I can see myself looking at the glass windows and suddenly seeing a face and he has a gun and shoots me through the glass.

Me: See that’s where we’re different. I picture him breaking through the sliding glass door and chasing me around with a bowie knife and stabbing me and throwing furniture and glassware at me and then kicking me as I lay on the ground bleeding to death.

We were afraid we were going to run out of gas for a hot second in the middle of nowhere in Utah and after our conversations about serial killers we were none too happy with that prospect. But all is well now. We are now about 60 miles out from Richfield, UT where we plan to spend the night.

Trivia: Volleyball is the most popular sport at nudist camps.

“Connotate this, bitch!”: “It’s so long you can ride a bus up and down it.”